If It Means a Lot to You
by theatrhythms
Summary: Cloud’s world is ending, and he doesn’t allow anyone to surround him in his time of dying. Oneshot, Zack x Cloud, yaoi.


**Title:** If It Means a Lot to You

**Author: **X Academy

**Series:** Compilation of Final Fantasy VII

**Summary: **Cloud's world is ending, and he doesn't allow anyone to surround him in his time of dying. Oneshot.

**Warnings/Rating:** M. Gore, violent kisses, sensitive material, language.

**Pairings:** Zack x Cloud

**Characters:**

Cloud Strife – 27  
Zack Fair – 22 (dead)

**New Characters: **

**Author Notes:** I was reading another fic, and one line just sparked an idea for a story in my mind. The title is taken from the song _If it Means a Lot to You _by A Day to Remember. I'm sorry if I offend anyone who is diagnosed with tuberculosis or has a family member that is. Not much to say but read and enjoy. Hope you like.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy VII or any of its characters. I just do this for fun. I need a life.

* * *

Cloud grimaced miserably as a bitter cough tore through his lungs and scratched his already ruined throat. His dull, aching eyes slid closed with an effort; everything was inexplicably obstinate in his condition.

The blond looked wretched and hideous as he lay silent in the hospital bed. His skin, although normally very pale otherwise, nearly blended with the crisp white sheets he lay on were it not for the sickly yellow tinge it had. His cheeks were sunken and drawn, a thick black ring hung under his eyes. The blond's once muscular and supple body was inexorably gaunt and rigid. His golden hair was faded with sickness; even his spikes seemed to droop.

Cloud whimpered involuntarily, wincing as another cough threatened to rack through him again. He barely fended the offending rasp off before he was taken over by a coughing fit, choking him and stealing precious air from his lungs. The cough trailed off into a groan and a sigh as it ended, and Cloud's head lolled to the side in his fatigue. The blond blinked slowly, once, twice, before finally closing his eyes and slipping into unconsciousness.

~*~

_"Hello?"_

_A pause. Labored, anxious breathing and a small muted whine._

_"Hello? Cloud?"_

_Who's calling my name? Let me sleep, you darned idiot. Don't you know that hospitalized patients need to rest?_

_"Cloud, wake up. I need to talk to you."_

_"G'way, dumbass…." I muttered without opening my eyes. I'd turn away from the noise if it wasn't so painful to do so._

_"No. I need to talk to you."_

_I feet a hand slide gently over mine and jerk stiffly away. My eyes refuse to open, perhaps because it's difficult for them to, perhaps because I'm so languid at the moment._

_"C'mon, Cloud." The voice is gentle, warm, and impossibly patient. "I need to tell you something important, Chocobo."_

_My eyes snap open at the excruciatingly familiar pet-name, and my head whirls around to find the source. Surprisingly, there is no pain as I do this, none of the exertion and complication I expected to come with the movement._

_My eyes settle on the vague outline of a hand that's moving to take mine, inviting and slow. I find myself giving my hand to the questing ghostly one, subconsciously giving in. When the phantom hand palms mine, it's warm and solid, not chilly and hollow as I'd assumed it would be._

_I jump slightly when another hand comes out of nowhere and joins the one on mine. The hand rests lightly for a moment before gliding up my arm unhurriedly. I'm rendered silent from fright as the palm caresses my bony shoulder, fingers coming up to curl around my neck for a moment before touching my hollow cheek. I part my blue-tinted lips and let out a panicky breath; as soon as I do, if feel fingers tracing over my top lip with startling softness._

_"Who…?" I mouth, the breath leaving my lips without my voice._

_I hear a small chuckle. "You don't see?" Another laugh; it sounds like some private joke. "Oops, sorry Chocobo. I forgot that you can't."_

_Suddenly, the hand slides up to my hairline, and I feel two fingers press firmly against my forehead. On instinct, I shut my eyes, partially out of fright, partially out because I'm afraid of what I'll see._

_"Are you afraid?"_

_Great, now he, it, has figured me out. I don't even know the cryptic, borderline rapist bastard, and he already knows that I'm afraid of him._

_"Open your eyes, Cloud. I won't hurt you. I never would."_

_I was shaken up by the enigmatic statement, and jolted my eyes open to stare into a pair of bright amethyst ones. The familiarity and nostalgia in those endless blue-violet pools nearly gives me a heart attack, and my face constricts in pain and shock. He stares calmly back, and a smile ghosts over his full lips._

_"Hello, Cloud. Long time, no see." he says, blinking slowly._

_A strangled cry is trapped in my throat as I continue to stare into his eyes, searching for a lie or something to contradict everything that I saw in front of me. "… no.", is all I say, flinching away from him._

_His hand easily comes around to cradle the back of my head, holding me where I am. His hand tightens around mine tenderly._

_"Yes, Cloud. It's me.", he reassures gently. His eyes are burning into mine and I can't tear my gaze from his, no matter how hard I'm trying._

_A whimper escapes my chapped lips as he leans closer to examine me better. "No… no, no, no. You're not real." I protest, partially to convince myself that this is all wrong, "Y-you're just a dream. You're fake."_

_"Then why are you panicking, Cloud?" he asks. His brow furrows for a moment, and I can feel his fingers soothing small circles in the nape of my neck._

_I whine softly. I know I'm defeated once he says that. I can't deny this anymore; he's completely and utterly real._

_"… Zack." he murmur dejectedly and watch as his eyes light up and his soft smile broaden._

_"There, I knew you'd recognize me.", Zack says, grinning blissfully at me._

_Suddenly, he leans down and presses his lips to mine in a soft, chaste kiss. The action catches me off guard and scares the hell out of me. But, before I can stop it, I find myself enjoying the feel of his mouth over mine, gentle, loving. I almost forgot how it felt to really kiss someone, or to have someone really kiss me. Zack gave me an abrupt reminder of the feeling though, and I wasn't going to waste my time idling while he cherished my lips._

_I push into the kiss lightly, pulling my hand out of his and resting it at the nape of his neck. I begin to pull my fingers through that thick mane of raven hair I always used to love. I want him closer, I need to remind myself that he is real after years of convincing myself he wasn't._

_I'm just beginning to enjoy the leisurely kiss when Zack clamps his teeth hard over my bottom lip demandingly._

_"Argh!!!", I cry out as I taste the blood on my lips. I'm trying to pull away, but Zack is holding me down, his hand heavy and unyielding on my stomach._

_He bites my lip again possessively before sliding his tongue over the wound apologetically. When he pulls away to gaze at me, his expression is affectionate and innocent._

_"You've forgotten about me, Cloud.", he starts, "You're lucky I came to you now, or else you'd have no place to go in the end."_

_"W-what are you talking about?", I whimper._

_"You belong with _me_, understand?", he clarifies, and I can't help but agree with him._

_"Ye-", I start, but I'm cut off when Zack's hand suddenly shoots up the front of my hospital gown. He rips the garment open, and I'm shocked by what he does next._

_Zack plunges his hand straight into my chest unceremoniously, his eyes glued to mine. I stare back as I feel his hand work around inside my body, groping around and searching. Blood is gushing around Zack's wrist out of the gaping hole in my chest, running down my sides and pooling around my body. The sheets are rapidly becoming soaked in the crimson river flowing from my body._

_I feel Zack's fingers curl around something solid inside me, and all my breath leaves me as he rips the object out of my chest. I stare breathlessly at my still beating heart in his hand, stretched, taut veins connecting the organ to my body. The heart is soaked in blood, the thick red liquid oozing and sliding between Zack's fingers and down his arm, onto the bed, on my stomach. The sight is terrifyingly beautiful, mesmerizing and horrifying at the same time._

_"This belongs to me, Cloud.", Zack said, squeezing my heart slightly with purpose. His face was still impossibly loving and innocent, but now it was pained and almost pleading._

_I nodded hopelessly and watched as Zack placed my heart back inside my chest gently. He slid his hand over my wound, and suddenly it was healed. The only thing that remained was my blood, oh, all the blood._

_Zack brought his bloodied hand up and caressed my cheek. He leaned forward and pressed his lips affectionately to my forehead._

_"When your world ends and everything burns, look for me; I'll be there.", he murmured with unconditional love heavy in his voice._

_I nodded, "I will."_

_I felt Zack grin against my forehead, and suddenly, didn't feel anything. The warmth was gone, replaced by a phantom of what I felt moments ago. But, I could still see Zack, fading slowly._

_"Don't leave me!", I pleaded, desperate for him to stay._

_"I'm not, Cloud.", he whispered, still diminishing, "Just have faith, okay?"_

_I nodded obediently, and before I knew it, everything was dark, and I was unconscious again._

* * *

**Well, that is by far the goriest, most horrifying fic I've ever written. I'm very proud of it, and I hope you enjoyed it.**

**1) If it isn't obvious, Cloud is dying. So, that's one reason to explain why Zack appears to him.**

**Review, please!!!**

**- X Academy**


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